“He’s a player."
"Artificial hopes."
"Don’t be hooked."
"He’s like
tasting various foods."
"It’s only for his entertainment.”
Some of my best friends keep telling me about that. The air
also does the same. And my eyes are healthy enough to see the truth. Yes, they’re
right, I know it, and I believe them, because I see it. And the most important
thing is, some of my best friends are his “ex-toys” or you may say, “victims”.
I don’t know what’s in his mind. Did he realize while doing
that? He hurt them. They told me how they feel. I saw them cry, physically or
emotionally. Looking that made me felt pain too. I don’t want them to be hurt. I
love them. And it made my curiosity increased. I wonder what’s in his mind, what
made he did that. Does he have any problem?
I believe that every action has a reason and I’m sure
whatever he did must be caused of problems that built his character into like
this, a player. You know, I feel like a dog digging the ground trying to find
hidden bones. I want to know what the matter behind all of this is. It’s like
he hides something big. Wait, no, he hides something massive, I think. And I
try to find out. But all the results are just empty holes, no bones. I can’t
figure it out. He closes it so tight and so deep. Introvert. And all left is
just his suspicious eyes, eyes full of intention. Just that, not more, not
less.
However, I realized about all of these things when he came
to me. I didn’t realize from the beginning. And the worst thing is, I wouldn’t
realize if my best friend didn’t tell me about that. How indifferent I am.
They warned me. Actually I’m not really sure to some of
them, did they really try to warn me or they had another aim. But, let’s say
that they tried to warn me, in many “different ways” – that bothered me a lot.
I know, I should be careful to him. Thank you for reminding me. But I’m bewitched.
Yes, he is too bewitching. His charm just burst out like that. I’m sorry my
best friends, it’s not that I don’t wanna hear you. I’m just too late to dodge,
to avoid it. No, maybe, I cannot dodge and avoid it. It seems like that he
knows the way to my heart, or to every girl’s heart.
Wait, I give myself a chance to consider..
Well, instead of all those bad things, he has a lot of
resemblance to me. His taste of fun is almost the same like mine. His family,
what he did and does, what he thinks, and many other, are almost the same like
mine. I feel comfort when I’m with him. We can’t stop talking and laughing.
There are always many things to talk about together. He touches me in a
different way. He touches not only my hand, hair, or head, but also my heart.
Every touch makes my skin, mind, and heart tremble. Strange, what feeling is
this? But, I can’t deny that I like this feeling. I want it again. I want it
more.
He can do everything for us. I mean, for our relationship. When I get mad, he knows how to bring my smile back. When I could not get my mother’s permission to have a date with him, he valiantly asked for it to her. Guess what, he got it.
He can do everything for us. I mean, for our relationship. When I get mad, he knows how to bring my smile back. When I could not get my mother’s permission to have a date with him, he valiantly asked for it to her. Guess what, he got it.
From his entire attitudes towards me, I can see that he is
serious to me. Some of my best friends also have the same thought.
Now, I don’t know what to say.
Maybe, I worry too much. I’m too afraid that he may break my
heart or hurt me just like what he has done to other girls. I just can’t
believe that he will be a perfect match for me.
Maybe, I’m stupid for letting him in, getting his own
entertainment, and at the end he will left me high and dry. Those kind things
he did to me are just his tricks and I will be the most stupid girl because I
didn’t mind my best friends warning and let him trap me.
He has walked too deep into my life.
I think over and over…
Finally, I decide to take a chance, play with fire.
I fall for him. I let my heart love him. I let my mind think
about him every time.
I fall for him. I let him take my heart. I let him touch me
again and again, or even hug me and kiss me.
Why? Because we are in a relationship now.
I try to believe him even I have to look into his suspicious
eyes. If at the end I have to feel pain because of broken heart, it’s my risk.
You won’t know how wonderful is sweet unless you taste bitter.